so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
