haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
