Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
