its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
