Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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