Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize