Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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