oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
