I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
