1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
