im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He passed out mid-signature
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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