my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
