she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
