I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
