I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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