Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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