So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize