The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
