Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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