Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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