Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
