i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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