would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
