i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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