I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Who died my cat blue again?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
