Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
