Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
