Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
