she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
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