You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize