At least make sure they are 18
Why
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
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