I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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