I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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