Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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