i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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