dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I cockslap morals
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
