ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
