So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
