i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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