just come out here and I will go home with you...
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
