Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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