I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
