We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Vodka?
Forever.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
