wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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