garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
