I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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