carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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