I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
