I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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