I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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