We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize