Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
