I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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