Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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