In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
