I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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