i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
