One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
i believe in u and ur pee
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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