"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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