So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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