How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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