I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
