i just wanna soil my oats bro
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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