Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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