i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
