I didn't shave. On purpose
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
