try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
