I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
